An Outsider

After living here for almost 3 years a lot has changed. I used to stare at the people around me and look at their clothes. I once saw an American that was wearing something that I thought was just over the top European. Shorts with tights. I said to my husband, "She's been in Europe too long."

If you look at home decor at a store you'll see a lot of orange and red...together. I was thinking of putting a photo of a rug with those color combinations but I couldn't find one that looked strange to me anymore. In fact I was about to write that I will never be able to get used to that color combination, but here I am looking at orange and red rugs and thinking that wouldn't look so bad in my living room.

When I went back to America this summer I know I stood out. It was the end of May. In Germany it was still fairly cool. And in fact it stays relatively cool all summer. So it had been several years since I had had a proper hot summer. So one of my first nights back, my friend mentioned that she was going to a softball game. I asked if I could go with her. What's more American than softball? So I was ready for my american experience. I show up at her house wearing black boots, skinny jeans t-shirt, and a lightweight cardigan. She's wearing a strapless shirt, shorts, and flip flops. We got to the game and guess who was dressed appropriately? Well lets see it was about 85 degrees. So obviously not me. But at the same time I wasn't about to show off my legs that hadn't had a proper tan for two years.

(above) My hot summer day outfit

(below) My friend's outfit

For the past couple years I'd made an effort to dress nicer when I go out. In Germany, my jeans that had "stylish" holes in it were looked at oddly. So I had gotten used to wearing the clothes I used to just wear to church everyday. The whole summer I know I stood out when I'd go to wal-mart or some other casual function, because in 3 short months I couldn't get this mentally out of my head. And to be honest I didn't want to. I feel like an outsider here in Germany and now I even feel like an outsider back in the US. But I'm fairly happy in Germany and I feel like this is my home now. So if I stand out in America it's because I live here now. If I stand out here it's because I'm from America. I'm a confused pale girl now.

As I'm writing this I'm having a hard time remembering what is strange looking anymore. In fact I've even worn tights with shorts. Apparently I've been in Europe for too long.