Sometimes I think Atheism is kicking my butt. Sometimes I think, should we really be here God? Is there really need here? I mean there’s a few Christians, can’t the just handle the work and we’ll go on living our comfortable lives somewhere else?
Other days I’m faced by people that are so anti-Christian, and again I’m like, this is too hard God, what are you thinking sending me? You know my faults Lord, you know I can’t handle this.
For the past 4 years I feel like I've got the smallest taste of what it’s like to be a true believing Christian in
Germany. The looks you get when you tell people why you live here. They’re cautious of me, I’m dangerous to
befriend. What are my motives of talking
to them? Am I part of a cult? Scientology?
Mormon? Church of the Latter Day
Saints? Something else? No I’m just a Christian. My husband and I work with youth and with a
church in another town.
Honestly, living here changed my worldview. Sometimes I’m not sure if that’s good thing or not, but I wouldn't go back. Never. It’s time I become stronger in my faith. Not dependent on the faith I had as a child. I often look back at that faith and want to go back to what my faith was then, but I can’t, I've tried for ten years. It’s time to move forward. Take what I've learned and be faithful to God. I wonder if I’m the only one who has spent so much of my Christian life looking back.