Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Looking Back


Sometimes I think Atheism is kicking my butt.  Sometimes I think, should we really be here God?  Is there really need here?  I mean there’s a few Christians, can’t the just handle the work and we’ll go on living our comfortable lives somewhere else?

Other days I’m faced by people that are so anti-Christian, and again I’m like, this is too hard God, what are you thinking sending me?  You know my faults Lord, you know I can’t handle this. 

For the past 4 years I feel like I've got the smallest taste of what it’s like to be a true believing Christian in Germany.  The looks you get when  you tell people why you live here.  They’re cautious of me, I’m dangerous to befriend.  What are my motives of talking to them?  Am I part of a cult?  Scientology?  Mormon?  Church of the Latter Day Saints?  Something else?  No I’m just a Christian.  My husband and I work with youth and with a church in another town.

Honestly, living here changed my worldview.  Sometimes I’m not sure if that’s good thing or not, but I wouldn't go back.  Never.  It’s time I become stronger in my faith.  Not dependent on the faith I had as a child.  I often look back at that faith and want to go back to what my faith was then, but I can’t, I've tried for ten years.  It’s time to move forward.  Take what I've learned and be faithful to God.  I wonder if I’m the only one who has spent so much of my Christian life looking back.   

Friday, January 13, 2012

The blog in my head

I write posts for my blog a lot. They're amazing. They're poetic, they're relatable, real, funny, clever. They never seem to actually make it to my blog. That's because I write them in my head, when I'm sitting in a car, or I hear something my preacher says in church and am inspired to write a whole post expanding on the topic.

But it seems like whenever I sit down to actually write, I can remember the topic, but no idea what it was that I was going to write.

Sadly, the blog in my head is way more awesome than this one and I update it almost daily. So while people ask me, do you still write on your blog? Maybe I should tell them about the blog in my head...then again maybe not.