Sometimes I think Atheism is kicking my butt. Sometimes I think, should we really be here
God? Is there really need here? I mean there’s a few Christians, can’t the
just handle the work and we’ll go on living our comfortable lives somewhere
else?
Other days I’m faced by people that are so anti-Christian,
and again I’m like, this is too hard God, what are you thinking sending
me? You know my faults Lord, you know I
can’t handle this.
For the past 4 years I feel like I've got the smallest taste
of what it’s like to be a true believing Christian in Germany . The looks you get when you tell people why you live here. They’re cautious of me, I’m dangerous to
befriend. What are my motives of talking
to them? Am I part of a cult? Scientology?
Mormon? Church of the Latter Day
Saints? Something else? No I’m just a Christian. My husband and I work with youth and with a
church in another town.
Honestly, living here changed my worldview. Sometimes I’m not sure if that’s good thing
or not, but I wouldn't go back.
Never. It’s time I become
stronger in my faith. Not dependent on
the faith I had as a child. I often look
back at that faith and want to go back to what my faith was then, but I can’t, I've tried for ten years. It’s time to
move forward. Take what I've learned and
be faithful to God. I wonder if I’m the
only one who has spent so much of my Christian life looking back.
I am currently reading a book on prayer that is really encouraging. It's called Praying Backwards and then I read another book that somewhat challenged my thinking on evangelism -- Speaking of Jesus by Chris Medeiras (not sure I spelled that right). You sound like Gideon. God, you know my faults, are you sure? God, you know my faults, I want you to be absolutely sure. God, I'm so weak. And yet, God really used him. He's using you too. You may not see the fruit of that now and you may never see it -- but God is using it for his ultimate glory and that's what you trust.
ReplyDeleteErin